Barbara Mayo

About the Source...

2006-02-24T12:14:00.000+01:00

"Each separate being in the universe returns to the common source.
Returning to the source is serenity.
If you don't realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow." - Lao Tzu

About mystery...

2006-02-16T11:41:00.000+01:00

Coming from nowhere
Departing for nowhere
A flashing glance...
Entering the mystery!

Ikkyu

On Existence

2006-02-09T10:35:00.000+01:00

I should put it into practice...
Stupidity is still a quality of mine.

"If you give up being a doer,
if you give up being in control
and you accept yourself as a happening in Existence
the way Existence wants you to be,
all guilt and all shame are suddenly left behind." - Rabia

Interesting thought...

2006-02-08T11:29:00.000+01:00

"The person who is ambitious, spiritually or otherwise, can never be without
a problem, because problems cease only when the self is forgotten." - J. Krishnamurti

Meditation Tip

2006-01-21T19:11:00.000+01:00

There are two dimensions to life, and we should be able to touch both.
One is like a wave, and we call it the historical dimension. The other is
like the water, and we call it the ultimate dimension, or nirvana. We
usually touch just the wave, but when we discover how to touch the water, we
receive the highest fruit that meditation can offer.

Thich Nhat Hanh

from the site: Deeshan

Just a funny test

2005-12-13T15:03:00.000+01:00

Here is my result:

I can't really say I am surprised...
I forgot a lot chemistry.

*****

In order to break the cold winter, I decided to open a Dreambook where me and anyone can write about their resolutions, dreams, expectations and anything related to this transition 2005 -> 2006.

It would be a pleasure to have your contribution, but you can just visit it if you prefer.

*****

"Do not meditate - be!
Do not think that you are - be!
Don't think about being - you are!" - Sri Ramana Maharshi

Continuing about films...

2005-12-10T09:23:00.000+01:00

Garfield

I have to talk about this one...
As they have been showing almost everyday on the cable channel, I took my time to watch Garfield, the movie again.
Well, I love cats, I love lasagna, I hate Mondays and needless to say, I adore Garfield, but since last week, I discovered that I am not the only one...
Soubi, my cat, doesn't even blink his eyes!
He even sits right in from of the TV and tries to touch the animals on the screen.
It is the sweestest thing to see. I loved it!
I had noticed it last time, but yesterday it was really definitive.

"As long as you seek for something, you will get the shadow of reality and not reality itself." - Shunryu Suzuki

Extracted from: Deeshan

Films

2005-12-05T10:33:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday, I watched the film Doom.
I must admit that it is the only FPS game that I enjoy playing and despite the small slip-ups, I liked what I saw.

The presence of The Rock was really good. He does make the fight scenes look realistic and although his character was changed related to the games, he rocked.

But the best was saved for the last... When you feel like the Reaper (in the game, Sargeant) and go shooting everyone, weapon right in front of your nose. It was incredibly well done.

Some monsters were missing, but Pinky made it up a little bit.

***

Compared to the other movies based on games I have watched so far, this is already my second favorite. It loses only to the first Tomb Raider.

It is not that I didn't like the Resident Evil ones, but they are not really fan services as the other ones. Even Tomb Raider II was a little out.

But they are all worth watching anyway...

***

But the film that I think I should keep on watching on a regular basis is Super Size Me.
Never a movie changed my life so deeply and no matter how many times I watch it, I feel surprised but not realizing those facts before.

Me who has eaten fast food since I remember existing was suddenly confronted with facts that also happened to me, but I had never dared to link.

It is not only a matter of how much you weigh, but mainly of how you are treating your body, internally speaking.

This is a documentary that bores no one.

***

"This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a
depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected
visitor. Welcome and entertain them all." - Rumi

Extracted from: Deeshan

Don't neglect

2005-12-01T09:55:00.000+01:00

It is about your life and the life of those you love.
AIDS is not a disease of the minorities.
Protect yourself!

Take good care.

Meditation Tip of the Day

2005-11-30T11:27:00.000+01:00

Buddha

"Look within
Be still
Free from fear and attachment
know the sweet joy of the way." - Buddha

Extracted from the site: Deeshan

Simple things

2005-11-29T10:15:00.000+01:00

Rolling Stones

In the beginning there was this horrible rush...
It has been long ago when I took time to just sit around and enjoy the moment.
There had always been so much to do, to plan, to organize, that living had lost its importance. My existance was being taken for granted...

Right now I am listening to Rolling Stones' "You can't always get what you want" and it couldn't be more more appropriate...

If only we didn't make Life so complicated...

Nice day everyone!

"You Can't Always Get What You Want

[chorus]
I saw her today at a reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man

No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need

Oh yeah, hey hey hey, oh...

And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
Sing it to me now...

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
Oh baby, yeah, yeah!

I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him

You can't always get what you want, no!
You can't always get what you want (tell ya baby)
You can't always get what you want (no)
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
Oh yes! Woo!

You get what you need--yeah, oh baby!
Oh yeah!

I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need

You can't always get what you want (no, no baby)
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need, ah yes..."

- by Rolling Stones

Meditation Tip of the Day

2005-11-24T15:41:00.000+01:00

Inner Peace

"In Tibetan, the word for body is 'lu', which means 'something you leave
behind', like baggage. Each time we say 'lu', it reminds us that we are only
travelers, taking temporary refuge in this life and this body." - Sogyal Rinpoche

"The horse is our emotions.
The carriage is the body.
The mind must learn to control the emotions.
The emotions always pull the body after them.
This is the order in which work on oneself must proceed." - G. Gurdjieff

"The evolution of man is the evolution of his consciousness, and
'consciousness' cannot evolve unconsciously. The evolution of man is the
evolution of his will, and 'will' cannot evolve involuntarily. The evolution
of man is the evolution of his power of doing, and 'doing' cannot be the
result of things which happen." - G. Gurdjieff

"I understand that the whole manifestation and life
is nothing but a dream, a play.
I am playing the whole game.

I am simply enjoying life." - Kiran

"The secret of change consists in concentrating one's energy to create the
new, and not to fight against the old." - Dan Millman

Extracted from the site: Deeshan

Wasting time

2005-11-23T14:10:00.000+01:00

Horizon

Yesterday I wasted my time at the site of Orkut.
I call it a waste of time because or that site hates me, personally, or their service just sucks big time.
I can hardly send people a message without getting "no dounut" many times and it annoys me.
Wasn't it supposed to make contacting people easier? Why is it like that then?
It is amazing to see that more 70% of its users are Brazilians.
Are we a helpless nation? I hope it is just for the fun.

I also signed for Yahoo! 360 and for the MSN Spaces.
I wonder whether I will ever touch any of them, but I will leave them there for the reference.

And another day goes by without anything going on...

"When you try to stop activity to achieve passivity, your very effort fills
you with activity. As long as you remain in one extreme or the other you
will never know Oneness." - Sosan (extracted from Meditation Tip of the Day)

Deep insights to start the weekend

2005-11-18T09:25:00.000+01:00

Chinese Gardens

It has been ages since I last posted sentences.
Here they go:

"The source of the life force is eternal -the center within- we do not need
to collect it like material things for it is already and always here." - author unknown

"A young student asked of the Master "what did you do before you became
Master?"
The Master replied "I fetched wood and carried water."
The Student asked "What do you do now that you are Master?"
The Master replied "I fetch wood and carry water."" - Lao Tzu

"If people are quiet,
They can be quiet anywhere.
If people aren't quiet
They won't be quiet in the mountains.
Everything depends on you.
Life is transient,
Like a flash of lightening in a dream." - Chi-ch'eng

"The highest truth cannot be put into words. Therefore the greatest teacher
has nothing to say. He simply gives himself in service, and never worries." - Hua Hu Ching

"There are no doors inside. It is an open space, an open sky. But to know
this open sky is to realize the deathless principle of your existence." - Zen

All sentences extracted from Meditation Tip of the Day.

The Tiger

2005-11-16T16:28:00.000+01:00

Europa - William Blake

I just couldn't stop thinking about William Blake the whole day today...

"Tiger, Tiger, burning bright
In the forest of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?
What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
Tiger, Tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

William Blake (1757-1827)

Almost a year later...

2005-09-30T17:20:00.000+02:00

I just wonder what moves people.
Not that it should be any of my business (what the hell am I doing myself when I take my time to bother about others instead of caring about my own?), but still…
Funny watching Super Size Me yesterday.
Weird though was having to assume that I am one of those millions who would eat to die.
Geez! I myself have almost 30% fat in my body. I am monster myself!!!!
Yet…
There I go again making myself a victim of the system.
People are amazing beings indeed…

Survivor

2005-02-11T09:46:00.000+01:00

I think this song has absolutely everything to do with what has been happening to me.

Survivor
by Destiny's Child

You thought that i'd be weak w/o u but i'm stronger
you thought that i'd be broke w/o you but i'm richer
you thought that i'd be sad w/o u i laugh harder
you thought i wouldn't grow w/o u now i'm wiser
you thought that i'd be helpless w/o you but i'm smarter
you thought that i'd be stressed w/o ya but i'm chillin
you thought i wouldn't sell w/o ya sold 9 million

Chorus:
i'm a survivor i'm not gon give up
i'm not gon stop i'm gon work harder
i a survivor im gonna make it
i'm a survivor keep on survivin

thought i couldn't breath w/o ya i'm inhalin
you thought i couldn't see w/o ya perfect vision
you thought i couldn't last w/o ya but i'm lastin
you thought that i would die w/o ya but i'm livin
thought that i would fail w/o ya but i'm on top
thought that it would be over by now but it won't stop
thought that i would self destruct but i'm still here
even in my years to come i'm still gon be here

Chorus

I'm wishin you the best, pray that you are blessed
much success, no stress and lots of happiness
I'm better than that
I'm not gon blast you on the radio
I'm better than that
I'm not gon lie on you or yo family yo
I'm better than that
I'm not gon hate on you in the magazine
I'm better than that
I'm not gon compromise my christianity
I'm better than that
You know i'm not gon diss you on the internet
cause my mama taught me better than that

Chorus

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

after all of the darkness and sadness soon comes happiness
if i surround myself with positive things I'll gain posterity

Chorus to the end

"You cannot find peace
by avoiding life." - Virginia Wolf

Breathing deeply

2005-01-09T10:40:00.000+01:00

Blue sky

I am not in a position to judge anyone. Not today or ever.
But it is funny realizing that we still do it anyway.
Recently I have been taking this opportunity to learn about myself.
It is so fantastic to realize how much one can of themselves by looking around every one and a while...

Life is really precious.
It doesn't have to be always perfect, but simply be.
It is to be cherisched and adored, yet we take it for granted most of the time.

If your feelings are not sincere, why faking them?
Go look for something/someone that does matter, that does make a difference and enjoy every moment you have with it.

If you don't like something/someone, don't waste your time with arguments that show you are right. Move ahead. Let whatever it was behind. Take a deep breath and look at the sky!
There is a future that begins now, waiting for you!

"The whole world should be one humanity: no fanaticism, no racism, no nationalism.
Then, for the first time, we can drop the idea of wars.
We can make life with honesty, worth living, worth enjoying; playful, meditative, creative, and give every man and every woman equal opportunity to grow and bring their potential to flowering." - Osho

Bring it on

2004-12-26T18:50:00.000+01:00

Busy, busy, busy.
That is me now and I sincerely feel like taking some time for myself to think things over (if I can put it this way).

Anyway, I feel like sharing the songs I have been listening lately.

With you: Seal!

*****

Bring it on

"Bring it on
...it on it on it on it on it on it on...

...Bring it on bring it on bring it on bring it on...

First I didn't have the will to carry on
...carry on...

Illusions in my mind
...illusions in my mind...

Like that picture when you feel you can't go on
...go on...

Like you've been left behind
...behind...

Life goes on, now
Take me to that funky place where you and I were born.

Carry on, now
...now...

Psychedlic tendencies of love will bring it on
...bring it on...
Bring it on
Bring it on, Bring it on
Don't wait until tomorrow
Bring it on
Bring it on
Bring it on

Give me something for the dream that I am in
...in...
You know I love the way you save me
A broken pawn,
I depended on.
Was only life, I was feeling

It goes on, now
Take me to that funky place where you and I were born
Carry on, now
Ain't no reason you should feel for shorn,
Unconditioned love will bring it on.....

Bring it on
Bring it on
Don't wait until tomorrow
Wait until tomorrow
Bring it on

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
...Bring it on.............

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
Bring it on, bring it on bring it on

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
...Bring it on.............

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
Bring it on, bring it on bring it on

Unconditioned love will bring it on

La da..da de da...

So what lies under.
Is your Kingdom Come?
Chase it way,
Down low.
It's only life.

Don't wait until tomorrow.
Don't wait until tomorrow.
Don't wait until tomorrow.
Don't wait until,
Wait until tomorrow.

Bring it on, bring it on bring it on
Bring it on"

Seal

Losing it

2004-11-14T13:05:00.000+01:00

Black Out

It all happened so fast but it was so intense that I couldn't help noticing it.
I simply lost total grip.
I wasn't anywhere anymore. I was no one, nothing.
First, I was sitting here, finishing my homework. On the following moment, I wasn't anymore.
It took a few seconds, but my head is still between realities.
My body became very light. My head floated. My eyes couldn't focus.
Then I was back. Part scared, part confused.
What has just happened?!?
I decided to write about it, so here I am.
That slow motion feeling still makes me feel heavy, but I am OK now.
Very interesting indeed...

"Fear comes into being when I desire to be in a particular pattern.
To live without fear means to live without a particular pattern.
When I demand a particular way of living that in itself is a source of fear." - J. Krishnamurti

Inner Dialogue

2004-11-11T20:47:00.000+01:00

Under Black Light

_ I fear.
_ What?
_ Making mistakes again. Mainly repeating the same old ones.
_ Why are yout thinking about that?
_ Because I see that I fall into the same traps over and over again. I hate that!
_ Does it help you thinking so?
_ Not really, but I can't help it.
_ Are you sure you can't help it or you are just too lazy to do what you have to do?
_ Well...
_ Answer sincerely. You know you don't need to lie to me.
_ But it is not my fault! I am weak! Don't ask so much from me!
_ I am not asking you to do anything, but answer. Actions are in your hands and only YOU can assume the responsibility to have them done.
_ And if I fail?!?
_ Giving up is the only way it might happen...

I hope I won't forget it anymore.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - Goethe

Chaos

2004-11-08T13:24:00.000+01:00

Chaos

And there was chaos...
When I look back at it there are small details that seem to have contributed to that internal explosion, but the real reason why it all started is still a mystery to me.
Maybe as time passes, as I clean my thoughts about it and became more objective, I will see its origin.

I don't know exactly when it started.
I was exausted when I noticed what was going on.
Strange... Very strange...

It is much better now, but will only heal completely when I reach the starting point.

"Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.
This includes every mosquito, every misfortune, every red light, every traffic jam, every obnoxious supervisor (or employee), every illness, every loss, every moment of joy or depression, every addiction, every piece of garbage, every breath.
Every moment is the Guru." - Joko Beck

Speechless....

2004-11-03T18:17:00.000+01:00

Alone

2004-10-17T21:00:00.000+02:00

Abstract

I have chosen to spend these days alone.
When my friend said that I needed time to get accustomed to the new "me", I took him for granted. At first, I thought he was exaggerating, but only after I stopped with childish concerns, I could understand that he was right.

I am vibrating differently, my worries silence and past doesn't bother me anymore.
The feeling of tiredness has left and I can concetrate better.
Every time I try to stop with my stalking, I feel uncomfortable about myself.
My body is working properly and my mind cleaner.
The pitty was at last eliminated from my vocabulary and the heart is breaking free.

"One thing alone is certain, that man's slavery grows and increases.
Man is becoming a willing slave. He no longer needs chains.
He begins to grow fond of his slavery, to be proud of it.
And this is the most terrible thing that can happen to a man." - G.I. Gurdjieff

On my own

2004-10-13T21:03:00.000+02:00

I can't help seeing it coming.
I do feel alone, but despite of being sad, it brings some peace to my heart.

Today, on the way back to college, I took sometime to look at the clouds.
I was disappointed for not being to arrange certain things.
That slow pace of mine, the cold wind and the sky reminded me of the only certainty one can have: death.

Once you really realize that there might be no tomorrow, all the useless worries simply vanish. They disolve when facing the holliness of each second and you end up thinking twice before wasting your time.

I am glad I had this time to remind it myself.
There are still people with whom I would love to be, but by now, I will walk my own.

"They alone attain samadhi who have mastered their senses and are free from anger, free from self-will and from likes and dislikes, without selfish bonds to people and things." - Tejabindu Upanishad

Restarting

2004-10-11T10:18:00.000+02:00

It is like getting undressed, but this time, it is the soul who is taking off all the useless accessories it has been keeping around itself.
Little by little, what was complicated becomes simple.
Everything that was hidden, comes up and I learn how to deal with it.
Alertness!
That is the message at this point.
There are so many distractions, so many things that can take the unguarded away from the main objectives.
Life is is more and more like a daily experience.
Every second is unique and at this pace, I am finally reaching further corners of my soul.
No fears are haunting me now and my loneliness is my favorite companion.

With affection!

"The mind should not seek to achieve oneness with anything.
Not to seek oneness is to be in accord with the natural way.
Relax, be spontaneous and watch." - Zhuang Zi

Dark afternoon

2004-10-10T17:49:00.000+02:00

Suddenly, I had no strength anymore.
I was not tired, but after that deep breath, everything became dark.
My legs failed sustaining me and my body fell on the cold floor.
It all happened so fast that part of me couldn't understand what was going on.
Without any sign, the light was gone and my eyes couldn't see for some time.
I remained sitting until I felt my hands could rise me again.

This time, I am not trying to understand.
Deep inside, I knew it would happen any time soon.
It was just a matter of time.

"There are no doors inside.
It is an open space, an open sky.
But to know this open sky is to realize the deathless principle of your existence." - Zen

Tiredness

2004-10-09T14:16:00.000+02:00

I feel tired.
It was like that the whole week.
My energy is going away while I experience new journeys and thoughts.
Everything is difficult and not even the extra hours in bed are helping.
It is a moment of change and all I can do is to get accustomed to it.

"There is no path to truth, it must come to you.
Truth can come to you only when your mind and heart are simple, clear, and there is love in your heart; not if your heart is filled with the things of the mind." - J. Krishnamurti

Confused

2004-10-04T22:07:00.000+02:00

Confused Thoughts

I am confused, but not because I don't know what to do, it is just that suddenly I was surrounded by too many feelings and emotions that I didn't expect.

Missed again...

This time my feelings were clear. I knew what I wanted. I knew included that I couldn't have it for my own sake.

I am hurt, sad, wish I had someone to talk to, but deep inside, I know it would be wrong.
I have to stay my own. I have to face my own demons. I have to fight this battle alone in order to win.
It is so much easier to find someone to blame instead of looking for a solution.

I know I have to take some steps behind and grow, so why don't I just do it?

I might be experiencing some delay again, but this time I AM NOT GONNA GIVE IT UP!

*a bliss*

"To be aware, without condemnation or justification, of the activities of the self, - just to be aware - is sufficient." - J. Krishnamurti

Got caught on my own

2004-10-02T13:47:00.000+02:00

Winter Blue

Today life played a funny trick on me.
I had so many plans for the weekend in order to keep myself busy with less important things, but it ended up being a calm, windy and gray Saturday.

Due to a break in communication, I didn't go to my Tensegrity practice and I will have to do the most intense exercise so far for me: face myself.

I used to think that I was so strong, independent and straight minded, but what I failed to realize that it was nothing but a superficial costume.
I was cleaning myself by putting all the dust under the carpet.
It is just that the time that is over and I have to move.

I have been talking so much about it, but yet doing so little.

I won't run away today though...

*love*

"Meditation means: bliss in being alone.
One is really alive when one has become capable of it, when there is no dependence anymore on anybody, on any situation, on any condition." - Mohan

All I want is my Present

2004-10-01T17:43:00.000+02:00

Lonely Flight

Nowadays, fantacizing has the power of boring me.
It is not that I quit on dreaming, but such things gained a new meaning to me.
They are not obvious as before.

When I talk about dreaming I think about reality as well, since I don't see anything difference between them.
But when I think about fantasies, a suddenly disconfort runs all over my body.

They sound like just a sweet excuse to escape from what matters and hide oneself comfortably in the cowardness cave.

No, that is not what I want for myself anymore.

I want to clean up my soul and fly away...

"Just live the moment.
And whatever qualities and whatever talents you have,
use them to the fullest." - Osho

Illusion

2004-09-29T13:16:00.000+02:00

Illusion

Suddenly, everything changes...

Outside, clouds started covering the sun and the wind returned.
It was not cold, but something in the air was new.
Inside, silence.

It was time to realize that somethings had to be done before being able to move ahead.
There was no reason anymore to be attached to memories when the main objective was to break free.

It doesnt have anything to do with ignoring the past, but as long as one refuses to clean the past and face the present, all they have is nothing but ilusion.

"In Tibetan, the word for body is 'lu', which means 'something you leave behind,' like baggage.
Each time we say 'lu', it reminds us that we are only travellers, taking temporary refuge in this life and this body." - Sogyal Rinpoche

Feeling peaceful

2004-09-28T09:22:00.000+02:00

That is how I feel today: in peace.
I was having some funny days since last Friday or so, and yesterday I was like a child jumping inside, bumping into my thoughts and plans.
I had to let it go for awhile and then get back on the track.

I came all the way to school taking deep breaths in order to rearrange myself.
I was lost in dreams again and was putting myself at the center of the Universe for a while.
It was a pleasant fantasy, but it is reality, the REAL reality, that interests me now.

I am awake again.
Living my life as it should be.
I am conscious and I am happy.

Love is to be felt intensively and then let it flow.
If I really want to follow this path of impecability, I better relax from my old conceptions and simply live...

With affection!

"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance" - Thomas Jefferson

Inner Universe

2004-09-23T09:50:00.000+02:00

I have already mentioned sometimes here how much I like Animes and their soundtracks.

These days, I have been watching Stand Alone Complex. For those who have watched Ghost in the Shell (a classic) the caracters are known.

The opening song from it is incredibly beautiful and I decided posting the translation here.

*greetings*

*Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex
Inner Universe (Opening Theme)
Vocals: Origa
Lyrics: Origa/Shanti Snyder
Music: Yoko Kanno

Angels and demons were circling above me
Breaking the hardships and starry ways*
The only one who doesn't know the happiness
is the one who couldn't understand his call

I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer...

Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning...
Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and...

...Endless run...
While I'm alive, I can try not to fall while flying,
Not to forget how to dream... how to love
...Endless run...

Calling Calling, For the place of knowing
There's more that what can be linked
Calling Calling, Never will I look away
For what life has left for me
Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving

To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer...

*The booklet has an evident mistake in this line.
The actual line that is sung should be translated as "Swishing through the hardships and milky ways".

Translated by roxfan (roxfan@skynet.be) *

Lovers Day

2004-09-22T13:54:00.000+02:00

Lovers in Paradise.

In Brazil, not it is the beginning of spring, but we celebrate the lovers day as well.

Lovers have no identity, age, shape or race, they simply let the vulcan of passion run free in their vains and explode in acts of beauty and intensity.

One may seek for love and security, but it is in the freedom of lovers that one can beyond all limits.

Flowers and kisses to all lovers!

*"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."
-Anais Nin

Travelling towards the Unknown

2004-09-21T18:27:00.000+02:00

That is what I am doing at this period of my life.

I decided breaking up with my own conventions and permitting myself to speak the language of silence again.

Everything is still new, I can even say, superficial, but yet nothing is the same anymore.

Today I caught myself touching the Infinit while having lunch.
I wasn't meditating or doing any exercise.
It is simply came to me as it: simple and pure.

Tomorrow, it will be another day with new challenges and surprises.
I try not to have expectations about it because all I want now is to be able to let it all flow, naturally...

With affection!

*Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.
This shows clearly the principle of softness overcoming hardness.

Lao Zi

Changes

2004-09-20T13:52:00.000+02:00

I decided coming up with some changes here.
In fact, I was looking forward to changing thing in my blogs since I had returned from Brazil, but I prefer letting things flow sometimes, instead of forcing new attitudes.

It is not that I don't love Lain anymore, but I had to make room for the Mulher Vento (Woman Wind) as well.

It was yesterday that I came up with this template.
It is still Anime, but has something more.
Although I don't have black hair and blue eyes, I identified myself with that girl.
And yes... The raven!

I think the changes in me are more to be lived than spoken.
Sooner or later they will be visible to you as well.

*love*

*** The Book I would pass to my children would contain no sermons, no shoulds and oughts. Genuine love comes from knowledge, not from a sense of duty or guilt.

Alan Watts ***

Personal Power

2004-09-17T13:10:00.000+02:00

"It doesn't matter how one was brought up. What determines
the way one does anything is personal power. A man is only
the sum of his personal power, and that sum determines how
he lives and how he dies."

Don Juan Matus

It is funny

2004-09-16T11:17:00.000+02:00

I wish I could talk about myself. About how I am feeling, what I am thinking, but words still don't come out.
I wonder if there is really that much to be said as my mind insists to repeat.
I have rediscovered ideas that were brought to me years ago and that I denied because of the silliest reasons ever.
Now, I sit here, look at the window and I feel speechless.
My soul travels high to places my body could never visit.

I am free!
Not totally, but part of me doesn't want to sit back, relax and become nothing more than a spectator of fate.

It is only the beginning of the road...

Where it ends doesn't matter now because only if one lives the Present can they experience Future.

*love*

Meditation tips

2004-09-15T11:09:00.000+02:00

Awakening does not mean that this particular form you inhabit should or will be a saint,or a great artist, or king of the world.
It means you can know without a doubt that who you are is not limited to form.
Who you are is what the world appears in, what the cosmos appears in, what space itself appears in.

Gangaji

***

Know that nothing is more precious for you to realize your inner silence.
This silence is a by-product of the harmony between your body, your heart and your intellect.

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

***

The best way to make your dreams come true is - wake up.
Never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Unknown

***

Be always honest and clear with whatever/whoever you face in your life.
By expressing yourself simply and clearly whenever needed the mirror of your being will always remain clean.
Dusting off our being is a daily meditation.

Nhasti

***

Just let things be in their own way and there will be neither coming nor going.
Obey the nature of things (your own nature), and you will walk freely and undisturbed.

Sosan

Meditation tips

2004-09-13T13:27:00.000+02:00

Liberation is understanding that you are already liberated.

Osho

***

Mind exists in desiring; hence mind can never leave you without desire.
If you are without desire, mind dies immediately.
That's the whole secret of meditation.

Mojud

***

There is hope in men, not in society, not in systems, not in organized religious systems, but in you and in me.

J. Krishnamurti

***

A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds.
A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

Basil

***

Heaven and hell are not places one goes after death, but in the here and now!
Good and evil are all in the thought, and the gates of heaven and hell will open to you at any time.

Hakuin

Meditation Tips

2004-09-08T19:21:00.000+02:00

You know what meditation is when your Self is purified of all hocus-pocus about mind, soul, spirit, and other intellectual jargon.

Alan Watts

***

Don't try to correct, suppress or cultivate anything.
Don't try to place your mind inwardly.
Don't search for an object to meditate upon outwardly.
Rest in the meditator, mind itself, without fabricating anything.

Paltrul Rinpoche

***

The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is.
Self-knowledge has no end - you don't come to an achievement, you don't come to a conclusion.
It is an endless river.

J. Krishnamurti

***

Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace
means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.

Marcel Morin

***

To be yourself gives you all that you need to feel fulfilled, all that can make your life meaningful, significant.
Just being yourself and growing according to your nature will bring the fulfillment of your destiny.

Osho

Live - Lenny Kravitz

2004-09-07T09:12:00.000+02:00

You give me straight like yard

Tired of all the talk they're talkin' all over this town
I'm tired of all the negativity that's going 'round
We focus all our energy on things that bring us down
Let's put our voices all together and make a joyful sound

Do just what you wanna do
Oh let the sun come shining through
Everybody
Live, live
Everybody live
Everybody live
You got to do it

Life is the most precious gift I thank the Lord for mine
I hope you feel the same my friend I hope you're feeling fine
The choice is yours your destiny is waiting on the line
You better get busy with living or you're busy dying

Do just what you wanna do
Oh let the sun come shining through
Everybody
Live, yeah yeah yeah yeah, live
Everybody live
Come on and sing
Live
You got to do it

Dance just to dance
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Come on
Hey !

Do just what you wanna do
Oh let the sun come shining through
Everybody
Live, hmm, come on live
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Everybody live
Sing with the yeah yeah yeah yeah
Live
Come on and do what you want now
Everybody live
Live come on yeah
Live
Everybody live

Come on
You got to do it
Live

Music: Lenny Kravitz & Craig Ross - Lyrics: Lenny Kravitz

It feels almost weird

2004-09-06T16:25:00.000+02:00

I still don't know towards which direction I should follow.
The possibilities are many, but yet, the brain fights against the obvious.
There are so many places to run that I have no clue what to choose.

Meanwhile, past is being cleaned and the present becomes a constant lesson to the future.

Words are not confusing and thoughts disturbing.

Sometimes I think it is too much, others I want it all.

I can't call me anything yet and I will be very happy when I simply manage to Be.

*love always*

Meditation Tips

2004-09-05T11:32:00.000+02:00

To be ready to die, we have to be ready to live - to live with such care, humility, passion and fearlessness that the future disappears in the fullness of the eternal present.

Andrew Cohen

***

What I am teaching here is: No Way.
There is really no way, because truth is not a goal.
All ways lead away from where we are.
There is no way of being here and now but to be here and now.

Osho

***

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.

Cherie Carter-Scott

***

To be juicy is to be:
a fearlessly joyous optimist, a troublemaker tirelessly afflicting the comfortable, a passionate lover of good talk and tasty food, an anonymous prophet hovering over the cosmological riddle, a frequent violator of the ordinance against indecent exposure of the heart, and a guerilla in the insurrection against the dream molestors everywhere.

Rich Heffern

***

We are here to do.
And through doing to learn;
and through learning to know;
and through knowing to experience wonder;
and through wonder to attain wisdom;
and through wisdom to find simplicity;
and simplicity to give attention;
and through attention to see what needs to be done.

from the Pirke Avot (Sayings or Ethics of the Fathers)

Blowin' in the wind - Bob Dylan

2004-09-02T14:34:00.000+02:00

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

My trip - part 1

2004-09-01T13:31:00.000+02:00

Well...
It all started at 6am on Friday 23rd July, 2004.
Man! I hate waking up early, but it was for a good reason and I made my best not to get late.

I am one of those freaks who travel only by the window so I like to be the first at the check-in desk.

Flan drove me to the airport and waited until I passed the Customs gate. So sweet...

I hate those "good-byes". They are always difficult even if you are going away for just a month (and at first I didn't want to travel that much).
I managed to set him free though

My first stop was Madrid.
Because of wrong information, I was going to arrive there at about mid-day but my connection was going to depart only at about midnight
I think that soon they are going to hire me as a tour guide in Barajas (the airport in Madrid) because it is not the first time I have to spend so many hours there walking around.
I know now every corner of that airport.
Not that it is a big one, but tricky

Anyway, I filled my bag with snacks, had my GBA with me and two games. I had a 5-hour wait ahead of me until my friend could arrive there from work and save me from total boredom but I was ready for it.

I didn't know Virgin Airlines was asking money for those tasteless sandwiches of them. I got myself just that ridiculous Coke can (that little thingie) and decided waiting for that delicious ham sandwich in Spain to satisfy my hunger.

The day was beautiful.
There was little turbulence and I could really enjoy the view and the flight since the closest person was one sit away from me.
The landing was not the best, but still smooth.
And this time I didn't get lost at the airport. and even my suitcase showed very fast! Isn't it cute?

My next step was finding the shop of Pluna Airline and getting my ticket...

(to be continued)

Quotations

2004-08-30T22:09:00.000+02:00

These days I am not bothering about getting enlightenment all the time,
And the result is that I wake up in the morning feeling fine.

Bankei

***

Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with truth.

Thich Nhat Hanh

***

In short, no matter what takes place in you rmind, let it rest without fabricating anything.

Paltrul Rinpoche

***

If you understand, things are as they are.
If you do not understand, things are as they are.

Gensha

***

Enlightenment is a rare combination of innocence and intelligence, having words for _expression and, at the same time, being very silent.
In that state, the mind is fully in the present moment.
Whatever is necessary is revealed to you in such a natural and spontaneous way, you just sit and the song of the nature flows through you.

Sri Sri Ravishankar

A Horse With No Name - America

2004-08-30T10:54:00.000+02:00

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

Doubts

2004-08-27T21:33:00.000+02:00

Part of me wants to talk. I wish I could share everything I have seen, felt, experienced, but it feels wrong.
I should just keep them for myself. That is one of the lessons, but I am not completely fine with it yet.
I am writing constantly, but the words come out vague.
It is my time to Be not to Speak.
I am learning again fast. It has years since it happened that way.
I am not happy or sad.
I don't have any opinion or thoughts about it.
Staying foccused on the present has been my hardest task now.
I am not accustomed to it.
I forgot how important it is, even when the present seems so uninteresting.
I am still all I have. And as long as I don't work harder on it, illusions will deceive me and I won't be able to complain about the devastating results it might bring.

Flying away...

Still in Brazil

2004-08-14T23:31:00.000+02:00

Hi everyone!

I am still visiting mom and spending little time online.

Forgive my silence but be sure that I will have lots of news on my return.

Kisses!!!

Crossing the River - The Devlins

2004-07-23T06:50:00.000+02:00

Something tells me I can trust in you
There's no pretense in the things you do
So much water under the bridge
And I'm standing here at the water's edge
Looking into your eyes

I'm crossing the river to get to you
I'm crossing the river
Crossing the river

You had the longing of a broken heart
Shine your light in a room that was frozen dark
Looking into your eyes (looking into your eyes)

I'm crossing the river (crossing the river ) to get to you
I'm crossing the river (crossing the river)
And this time I'll make it through
With your faith and your arms open wide
I see you there on the other side
Crossing the river, of fear and pride

There's no turning back,
I know I've come so far and I've got so far to go
Looking into your eyes (looking into your eyes)
I'm crossing the river (crossing the river ) to get to you
I'm crossing the river (crossing the river)
And this time I'll make it through
With your faith and your arms open wide
I see you there on the other side
Crossing the river, of fear and pride

Oh yeah, I'm crossing the river
I'm crossing the river (crossing the river)
Crossing the river to get to you

Almost crossing the ocean

2004-07-22T16:32:00.000+02:00

It is already tomorrow.
Unbelievable, but I am still busy with the stuff I am taking with me.
This is going to be in the list of one of the "most confusing trips ever".
I feel confused, sad, happy, depressed, frustated, anxious, tense, everything!
It is just one month, but it has been draining quite some energy of me...

*****

Look within.
Be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
know the sweet joy of the way.
Buddha

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
Cherie Carter-Scott

Blind one, how can you stumble on a straight spontaneous path?
Be spontaneous in your own self and find the way that is born in you.
The Bauls

Good-bye again...

2004-07-21T14:28:00.000+02:00

This time to my idol Antonio Gades.
I can't tell how many times I have watched his films, trying desperately to imitate his fantastic choreographies.
A genius of Flamenco that the world of dance will surely never forget.

Te echaré de menos, Antonio......

Packing time

2004-07-20T15:54:00.000+02:00

It is not good or bad, but it does feel weird.
I have been away from "home" for two years and now I will return for a month.
I don't know what I am going to find there and am trying my best not to have high expectations about it.
It is not simple, but I hope I will achieve it.

*****

I have finally made some changes on my other blog in English, the Magic Path.
I have just changed the template and will be posting things soon.
No promisses of a very active one, but won't be abandoned either.

I have also added here the links to my blogs in Portuguese in case some Portuguese speaker drops by as well.

*****

We gossip about others
because we are not sufficiently interested
in the process of our own thinking and our own action.
J. Krishnamurti

Joshu asked Nansen: "What is the path?"
Nansen said: "Everyday life is the path."

Love is a natural kind of meditation.
And meditation is a supernatural kind of love.
Osho

Watch it!

2004-07-18T17:42:00.000+02:00

After some silence...

2004-07-15T14:27:00.000+02:00

... I am back.
I had some problems in the beginning of the week, so I had to stop, just for a while, with my exercises routine until I discovered what happened.

Meanwhile, I have been reading.
I like it, so...
I am back to The Mists of Avalon again.
I have started reading it so many times, but never really finished.
This was lent me last Xmas, but I didn't have the chance to read it before because of college.

I better start French this vacation for my own sake.

*****

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.
The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain

It matters not Who you love, Where you love, Why you love, When you love, or How you love, It matters only that You love.
John Lennon

Let things happen naturally and do not try to force a certain outcome.
That which is not natural will not be right.
Lao Zi

from the site: http://www.deeshan.com

Not that bad

2004-07-12T10:31:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I got a scale so now I can control my weight as well.
This morning I checked it and for my surprise, it registered 50kg.
My objective is 45kg, but I was fearing that I might be a couple kilos above the 50kg, so now I see that things are not that bad.
I still have lots of fat in my body.
Probably I will finally concentrate on my cardio exercises today.
Well, that was a really pleasant way to start my week. :)

*****

Finally, I restarted writing.
I have been doing so many things since my vacation started, but I hadn't had the chance to sit down and give the shape of words to my thoughts.
I will try translating somethings soon and then I will post them here as well.

*****

If you are waiting for acknowledgment from the crowd to feel complete - you will wait forever.
If you are waiting for something outside of you to change so you can feel secure, safe or satisfied - stop.
Beth Johnson

Our mind should be free from traces of the past, just like the flowers of spring.
Shunryu Suzuki

My world is an open world, common to all, accessible to all.
In my world there is community, insight, love, real quality; the individual is the total, the totality in the individual. All are one and the One is all.
Nisargadatta Maharaj

Self is what gives breath to Life.
You need not search for It, It is Here.
You are That through which you would search.
You are what you are looking for!
And That is All it is.
Sri H.W.L. Poonja

There is no death.
Only forms change, life continues on and on.
Eternity

from the site: http://www.deeshan.com

After two lazy days...

2004-07-09T13:22:00.000+02:00

... I am back to my good and old routine. I mean, not that old.
I felt very guilty these two days and it is a good sign. ;)
I haven't much anything on that routine and am thinking about keeping it this way for a month or so and then, just to avoid boredom, I am gonna change the exercises for variations on the same muscles.
I was advised to keep a 3-day per week cardio routine as well. I better figure out something fast too.
Nothing on the diet until now.

*****

Understanding comes into being from the now, the present, which is always timeless.
J. Krishnamurti

Pleasure or pain are aspects of the mind only.
Our essential nature is happiness.
But we have forgotten the Self and imagine that the body or the mind is the Self.
It is that wrong identity that gives rise to misery.
Sri Ramana Maharshi

The problem with many things
is the pre-conceived ideas we have about them!
Tishan

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
Max Erhmann

Intelligent people know others.
Enlightened people know themselves.
You can conquer others with power.
But it takes true strength to conquer yourself.
Lao Tzu

from the site: http://www.deeshan.com

*****

I have been meditating about silence lately.
It started after I "said" too much and had to start an evaluation process on myself.
I know I said what I really believe in and unfortunately, have proof that support my words, but I couldn't help asking myself if saying that and mainly, the way I said it all, was the right thing to after all...
Until now, the answer is a big NO.
I feel I am already paying the price for it.
Don't think I managed to heal the wound I caused, but am keeping focused on how to avoid the same mistake again because it is just the most disastrous time, not the first one...

*love*

Some action

2004-07-05T13:02:00.000+02:00

After having an empty weekend most of the time, I had to realize that it was fault feeling that way.
I had spent a whole year thinking 24 hours about my studies, suddenly I was free and didn't know what to do with it.
Well, I do have my hobbies, but they are different from obligations, and being someone stressaddicted, I was having problems at first.

This started Friday afternoon when I came home from college after getting my grades and checking my exams and ended up yesterday evening.

What changed?
I decided returning to my exercises.
I need this motion not only emotionally but to get rid of my growing beer belly. :o
Mirrors and I are not getting along anymore and I better change it.
It is not the physical aspect, but putting on weight means having too much fat on the body which isn't good at all.
I believe body and soul are equally important because it is the vehicle we use to Live, so why negleting it?

Hey! I would like to ask you a favor...
Keep an eye on me and if I stop again, give some hard time, please. :p

My routine today:
Upper body:
Bench Press-3sets of 8 reps,
Barbell Row-3 sets of 8 reps
Barbell Press - 3 sets of 8reps
Barbell Curls-3 sets of 8 reps
Triceps Pressdowns 3 sets of 8 reps

Lowerbody:
Squats-3 sets of 8,10,12, reps.
Leg Extensions-3 sets of 10 reps
Calf Raises-5 sets of 10-25 reps
Crunches- 4 sets of 20 reps

I am still trying to figure the kind of diet I would do because if I go too hard on myself, I will just quit faster and that is the last thing I wanna do...

*kisses*

You are Taki -

Admired for your style and fresh approach to life, you are the Japanese femme fatale!
Deceivingly innocent, you are actually a devil in disguise. You love to show off, but behind that
flamboyant and sometimes uncaring personality, you definately care for and stand up for your friends.
Just one flaw, you can be annoyingly hyper and bouncy!! However this can be just what a friend needs
after a boring day.

Which Soul Calibur character are you?

this quiz was made by david park

Back to the meditation tips

2004-06-28T09:21:00.000+02:00

But peace can be made only by those who are peaceful,
and love can be shown only by those who love.
No work of love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart,
just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.

Alan Watts

The completion of knowledge will lead you to amazement and wonder. It makes you aware of this existence. Mysteries are to be lived, not understood. One can live life as fully in its completeness, in its totality.

Sri Sri Ravishankar

A little foolishness, enough to enjoy life
and a little wisdom to avoid the errors,
that will do.

Osho

Every time and every place is uniquely different.
There is no need to compare it with any other time and place.
Just carefully taste the present - that is enough!

Zen

Nobody can give a meaning to your life.
It is your life, the meaning must also belong to you.
It is your life and only you can access it and understand it.
It is only living it that you will discover its mystery.

Chandran Mohan

Leaving on a Jetplane

2004-06-24T09:03:00.000+02:00

Right now I am listening to Leaving on a Jetplane that a friend has on her blog.
I simply adore this song. I have always done, but since my life turned into this Gipsy like pilgrimage, the scenes that it arises on my mind got stronger.
This version is even the one with Janis Joplin. It couldn't get any more powerful to me...

I am back to many things after a year of hard studying and many difficult situations.
Have I become a better person? Have I learned something good from it all? Have I grown?
I guess that only time will tell....

*love*

Leaving On A Jetplane
Janis Joplin

Ah-ah-ah-ahhh
Ah-ah-ah-ahhh

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say Goodbye

But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

CHORUS
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

Ah-ah-ah-ahhh

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing

Everyplace I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

CHORUS

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times that I won't have to say

CHORUS

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go.

(And I'm) Leaving on a jetplane (repeat)

Coming back....

2004-06-23T12:06:00.000+02:00

Yes, I am returning to my blog-life.
After such a long stop there is so much to say that it is really difficult to know where to start.

By now, I will just leave you with my new template.
Unfortunately, I didn't make it this time, but it is so beautiful and meaningful to me that I couldn't resist.
Later I will explain more about it.

You will see that I still need to fix somethings, but it will be for another day.

*love*

BM

Exams

2004-05-25T08:47:00.000+02:00

Sorry for being away again for so long, but for the next 4 or 5 weeks I will be dedicating myself exclusively to my finals which leaves me no time for blogs. :(

*warm hugs to everyone*

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Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads

2004-05-10T17:42:00.000+02:00

well we know where we're going, but we dont know where we've been
and we know what we're knowing, but we can't say what we've seen
and we're not little children, and we know what we want
and the future is certain, give us time to work it out

yeah

we're on a road to nowhere, come on inside
we'll take that ride to nowhere, we'll take that ride
feeling ok this morning, and you know
we're on a road to find our lives, here we go, here we go

we're on a ride to nowhere, come on inside
taking that ride to nowhere, we'll take that ride
maybe you want me while i'm here, i dont care
even when time isnt on our side, i'll take you there, take you there

we're on a road to nowhere
we're on a road to nowhere
we're on a road to nowhere

there's a city in my mind so come on and take the ride, and its alright, baby its alright
and its very far away, but its going day by day and its alright, baby its alright
would you like to come along? you can help me sing this song and its alright, baby its alright
they can tell you what to do, oh god they'll make a fool of you, and its alright, baby its alright

we're on a road to nowhere
we're on a road to nowhere
we're on a road to nowhere
we're on a road to nowhere

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Storms in Africa - Enya

2004-04-28T18:01:00.000+02:00

Though I walk through
warm sands in Africa
winds will grow soon
to storms in Africa.
How far to go
I cannot say.
How many more
will journey this way?
Dark skies fall on
black earth and ivory.
Far from your sun
clouds now close over me.
How far to go
I cannot say.
How many more
will journey this way?
Storms have come!
rains wash the earth away
Dark skies fall down
into another day.
Rains have now come
from storms in Africa
Time will go on
through Storms in Africa

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Meditation Tips

2004-04-23T12:23:00.000+02:00

A real journey, no matter how long, has never any end.

William Least Heat-Moon

Let yourself be at ease.
Simply go with the flow of life.
It is so simple
How can we miss it?

Nashti

The world is a spell, an enchantement, an amazement, an arabesque of such stunning rhythm and a plot so intriguing that we are drawn by its web into a state of involvement where we forget that it is a game.

Alan Watts

The meaning of life is to live moment to moment.
Just follow the flow of life from childhood to old age.
Be born when it is time to be born
and die when it is time to die.

Zhuang Zi

If you are waiting for acknowledgment from the crowd to feel complete - you will wait forever.
If you are waiting for something outside of you to change so you can feel secure, safe or satisfied - stop.

Beth Johnson

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Only Time - Enya

2004-04-22T18:13:00.000+02:00

Who can say
Where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time
And who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose?
Only time
Who can say why your heart sighs
As your love flies?
Only time
And who can say
Why your heart cries when your love lies?
Only time
Who can say
When the roads meet
That love might be
In your heart?
And who can say
When the day sleeps
If the night keeps
All your heart?

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose?
Only time
And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time

Who knows? Only time
Who knows? Only time

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Crazy - Seal

2004-04-20T16:51:00.000+02:00

In a church’by the face’
He talks about the people going under.

Only child know...

A man decides after seventy years’
That what he goes there for’ is to unlock the door.
While those around him criticize and sleep...
And through a fractal on a breaking wall’
I see you my friend’ and touch your face again.
Miracles will happen as we trip.

But we’re never gonna survive’ unless...
We get a little crazy
No we’re never gonna survive’ unless...
We are a little...

Cray...cray...cray...
Crazy yellow people walking through my head.
One of them’s got a gun’ to shoot the other one.
And yet together they were friends at school
Ohh’ get it’ get it’ get it’ get it no no!

If all were there when we first took the pill’
Then maybe’ then maybe’ then maybe’ then maybe...
Miracles will happen as we speak.

But we’re never gonna survive unless...
We get a little crazy.
No we’re never gonna survive unless...
We are a little...
Crazy...
No no’ never survive’ unless we get a little... bit...

Oh’ a little bit...
Oh’ a little bit...

Oh...
Oh...

Amanda decides to go along after seventeen years...

Oh darlin...
In a sky full of people’ only some want to fly’
Isn’t that crazy"
In a world full of people’ only some want to fly’
Isn’t that crazy"
Crazy...
In a heaven of people there’s only some want to fly’
Ain’t that crazy"
Oh babe... Oh darlin...
In a world full of people there’s only some want to fly’
Isn’t that crazy"
Isn’t that crazy... Isn’t that crazy... Isn’t that crazy...

Ohh...
But we’re never gonna survive unless’ we get a little crazy.. crazy..
No we’re never gonna to survive unless we are a little... crazy..
But we’re never gonna survive unless’ we get a little crazy.. crazy..
No we’re never gonna to survive unless’ we are a little.. crazy..
No no’ never survive unless’ we get a little bit...

And then you see things
The size
Of which you’ve never known before

They’ll break it

Someday...

Only child know....

Them things
The size
Of which you’ve never known before

Someday...
Someway...
Someday...
Someway...
Someday...
Someway...
Someday...

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Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

2004-04-19T16:06:00.000+02:00

I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind behind a cigarette
And a message coming from my eyes says leave it alone
Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch you coming back my way I'm going to serve it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear but that's what I'll do
And a feeling coming from my bones says find a home
I'm goin' to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding right before my lord
Oh, the words are going to bleed from me and I will think no more
And the stains coming from my blood tell me go back home

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The End - Doors

2004-04-18T20:27:00.000+02:00

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes
again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some
stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...fuck you

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

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Duvet - Boa (opening song of the Anime "Lain")

2004-04-17T00:52:00.000+02:00

And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame then I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
and you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe

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Meditation Tips

2004-04-16T12:42:00.000+02:00

Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.

Tolstoy

Is there anything more satisfying, more healing, more enjoyable, more important in your life than your next breath?
Don't let it go by unnoticed.
Take your time and savor it.

Beth Johnson

Every time and every place is uniquely different.
There is no need to compare it with any other time and place.
Just carefully taste the present - that is enough!

Zen

Everything lies in the freedom of choice that we possess as human beings.
Our liberation and our bondage.
There is no other species that has the power to choose to evolve. In light of this discovery, you have to ask yourself: What am I doing with the gift of choice that is my birthright as a human being?

Andrew Cohen

No past.
No future.
Open Mind.
Open Heart.
Complete attention.
No reservations.
That's all.

Scott Morrison

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Change - Edson Marques

2004-04-15T21:56:00.000+02:00

Change.
But start slowly, because direction is more important than speed.
Sit in another chair, on the other side of the table.
Later on, change tables.
When you go out, try to walk on the other side of the street. Then change your route, walk calmly down other streets, observing closely the places you pass by.
Take other buses. Change your wardrobe for a while; give away your old shoes and try to walk barefoot for a few days - even if only at home.
Take off a whole afternoon to stroll about freely, listening to the birds or the noise of the cars.
Open and shut the drawers and doors with your left hand.
Sleep on the other side of the bed. Then try sleeping in other beds.
Watch other TV programs, read other books, live other romances - even of only in your imagination.
Sleep until later. Go to bed earlier.
Learn a new word a day.
Eat a little less, eat a little more, eat differently; choose new seasonings, new colors, things you have never dared to experiment.
Lunch in other places, go to other restaurants, order another kind of drink and buy bread at another bakery.
Lunch earlier, have dinner later, or vice-versa.
Try something new every day: a new side, a new method, a new flavor, a new way, a new pleasure, a new position.
Pick another market, another make of soap, another toothpaste.
Take a bath at different times of the day.
Use pens with different colors.
Go and visit other places.
Love more and more and in different ways. Even when you think that the other will be frightened, suggest what you have always dreamed about doing when you make love.
Change your bag, your wallet, your suitcases, buy new glasses, write other poems.
Open an account in another bank, go to other cinemas, other hairdressers, other theaters, visit new museums.
Change. And think seriously of finding another job, another activity, work that is more like what you expect from life, more dignified, more human.
If you cannot find reasons to be free, invent them: be creative.
And grab the chance to take a long, enjoyable trip - preferably without any destination.
Try new things. Change again. Make another change. Experiment something else.
You will certainly know better things and worse things than those you already know, but that does not matter. What matters most is change, movement, dynamism, energy.
Only what is dead does not change - and you are alive.

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Alchemy of the Word - Arthur Rimbaud

2004-04-14T11:33:00.000+02:00

My turn now. The story of one of my insanities.

For a long time I boasted that I was master of all possible landscapes and I thought the great figures of modern painting and poetry were laughable.

What I liked were : absurd paintings, pictures over doorways, stage sets, carnival backdrops, billboards, bright-colored prints ; old-fashioned literature, church Latin, erotic books full of misspellings, the kind of novels our grandmothers read, fairy tales, little children's books, old operas, silly old songs, the naïve rhythms of country rimes.

I dreamed of Crusades, voyages of discovery that nobody had heard of, republics without histories, religious wars stamped out, revolutions in morals, movements of races and continents : I used to believe in every kind of magic.

I invented colors for the vowels ! - A black, E white, I red, O blue, U green. - I made rules for the form and movement of every consonant, and I boasted of inventing, with rhythms from within me, a kind of poetry that all the senses, sooner or later, would recognize. And I alone would be its translator.

I began it as an investigation. I turned silences and nights into words. What was unutterable, I wrote down. I made the whirling world stand still. (...)

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Freedom 90 - George Michael

2004-04-13T13:20:00.000+02:00

I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
Because I would really, really love to stick around

Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race? A prettier face!
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same
No way
Think I'm gonna get myself happy

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take

Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy
What a kick just a buddy and me
We had every big shot good-time band on the run boy
We were living in a fantasy
We won the race
Got out of the place
I went back home got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take

Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last

That's what you get
I say that's what you get
That's what you get for changing your mind

And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man

I'll hold on to my freedom
May not be what you want from me
Just the way it's got to be
Lose the face now
I've got to live

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It's Over - Level 42

2004-04-09T10:04:00.000+02:00

I won’t be here when you come home
I’m sorry if you don’t understand forgive me if you can
But I can see another road
And I ain’t coming back

Don’t look for me you bound this town
Cause I will be so far away you’ll never find me anywhere
And I won’t take no souvernirs no perfume picture promises
Because it’s over
And I ain’t coming back

You gave me everything
And now I’m breaking your heart
You know that I don’t mean
To tear your world apart

I would never leave, if I thought you couldn’t stand the pain
A lettre in hall, is written on the wall
A lettre with the words of love at all
Because it’s over
And I ain’t coming back

And as I close the door
I know I’m breaking your heart
I should have loved you more
Instead I’ve torn world apart

And as I walk into the lonely afternoon
I feel sad enough, I feel bad enough
And all the times when you are lonely where you are
Please don’t hate me then, I just could not pretend

Tears, feel the tears, I can feel the tears, running through the years

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Sleeping Satellite - Tasmin Archer

2004-04-07T15:28:00.000+02:00

blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the Eagle's flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why
Are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Did we fly to the moon too soon?
Did we squander the chance?
In the rush of the race
The reason we chase is lost in romance
And still we try
To justify the waste
For a taste of man's greatest adventure

I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the Eagle's flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why
Are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Have we got what it takes to advance?
Did we peak too soon?
If the world is so green
Then why does it scream under a blue moon?
We wonder why
The Earth's sacrificed
For the price of its greatest treasure

I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the Eagle's flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why
Are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

And when we shoot for the stars
What a giant step
Have we got what it takes
To carry the weight of this concept?
Or pass it by
Like a shot in the dark
Miss the mark with a sense of adventure

I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the Eagle's flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why
Are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

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Anaïs Nin

2004-04-06T10:40:00.000+02:00

"For me, the adventures of the mind, each inflection of thought, each movement, nuance, growth, discovery, is a source of exhilaration." November, 1933 from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume One 1931-1934

"Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous." Winter, 1931-1932 from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume One 1931-1934

"The monster I kill every day is the monster of realism. The monster who attacks me every day is destruction. Out of the duel comes the transformation. I turn destruction into creation over and over again." December 21, 1936 from Fire

"I say quotations are literary. They are good only when dealing with ideas, not with experience. Experience should be pure, unique." June 5, 1936 from Fire

"Experience teaches acceptance of the imperfect as life." Feb. 15, 1936 from Fire

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Meditation Tips

2004-04-04T13:46:00.000+02:00

Do not think that the knowledge you presently possess is changeless, absolute truth.
Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge.
Be ready to learn throughout your entire life and to observe reality in yourself and in the world at all times.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Of the desires expressed the one which is most right is the desire to be 'master of oneself',
because without this nothing else is possible.

G. I. Gurdjieff

Your own treasure house already contains everything you need.
Why don't you use it freely, instead of chasing after something outside yourself?

Ma Tzu

The secret of change consists in concentrating one's energy to create the new, and not to fight against the old.

Dan Millman

Become more and more a watcher
Stop reacting immediately to what happens to you
Learn to distance yourself from what you think and feel
Meditation will then happen on its own accord
Meditation is a happening.

Padeeshkar

NOTE
Sorry for being away for so long, but not only had I problems with this site, but I have been fighting some quiet challenges battles as well.
*love always*

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Eleanor Rigby - Lennon/McCartney

2004-03-28T11:42:00.000+02:00

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice
in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face
that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie, writing the words
of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks
in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, died in the church
and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt
from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

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Meditation Tips

2004-03-18T14:37:00.000+01:00

You are just great the way you are.
Be yourself and do not compare.
Find your uniqueness and BE IT.
You will be so happy and contented.

Nahsti

A man becomes too much attached to money - money is accidental. It has nothing to do with essential life. A man becomes too much attached to his house or to his car, or to his wife, or to her husband, to children, to relationship. Relationship is accidental; it has nothing essential in it. It is not your real being. And in this century, the twentieth century, the problem has become too deep.

Osho

Happiness is a perfume that you cannot pour onto someone else without getting some on yourself.

Unknown

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I need love - LL Cool J

2004-03-15T17:40:00.000+01:00

When I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall
and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call
Telling me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove
for the first time in my life I see I need love
There I was giggling about the games
that I had played with many hearts and I'm not saying no names
Then the thought occured tear drops made my eyes burn
as I said to myself look what you've done to her
I can feel it inside, I can't explain how it feels
all I know is that I'll never dish another raw deal
Playing make believe pretending that I'm true
holding in my laugh as I say that I love you
Saying amor kissing you on the ear
whispering I love you and I'll always be here
Although I often reminsce I can't believe that I found
a desire for true love floating around
Inside my soul because my soul is cold
one half of me deserves to be this way till I'm old
But the other half needs affection and joy
and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy
I need love
I need love

Romance sheer delight how sweet
I gotta find me a girl to make my life complete
You can scratch my back, we'll get cozy and huddle
I'll lay down my jacket so you can walk over a puddle
I'll give you a rose, pull out your chair before we eat
kiss you on the cheek and say ooh girl you're so sweet
It's deja vu whenever I'm with you
I could go on forever telling you what I do
But where you at you're neither here or there
I swear I can't find you anywhere
Damn sure you ain't in my closet, or under my rug
this love search is really making me bug
And if you know who you are why don't you make yourself seen
take the chance with my love and you'll find out what I mean
Fantasy's can run but they can't hide
and when I find you I'm gon' pour all my love inside
I need love
I need love

I wanna kiss you hold you never scold you just love you
suck on you neck, caress you and rub you
Grind moan and never be alone
if you're not standing next to me you're on the phone
Can't you hear it in my voice, I need love bad
I've got money but love's something I've never had
I need your ruby red lips sweet face and all
I love you more than a man who's 10 feet tall
I'd watch the sunrise in your eyes
we're so in love when we hug we become paralyzed
Our bodies explode in ecstasy unreal
you're as soft as a pillow and I'm as hard as steel
It's like a dream land, I can't lie I never been there
maybe this is an experience that me and you can share
Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet
I swear to you this is something that I'll never forget
I need love
I need love

See what I mean I've changed I'm no longer
a play boy on the run I need something that's stronger
Friendship, trust honor respect admiration
this whole experience has been such a revelation
It's taught me love and how to be a real man
to always be considerate and do all I can
Protect you you're my lady and you mean so much
my body tingles all over from the slightest touch
Of your hand and understand I'll be frozen in time
till we meet face to face and you tell me you're mine
If I find you girl I swear I'll be a good man
I'm not gonna leave it in destiny's hands
I can't sit and wait for my princess to arrive
I gotta struggle and fight to keep my dream alive
I'll search the whole world for that special girl
when I finally find you watch our love unfurl
I need love
I need love

Girl, listen to me
When I be sittin in my room all alone, staring at the wall
fantasies, they go through my mind
And I've come to realize that I need true love
and if you wanna give it to me girl make yourself seen
I'll be waiting
I love you

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Meditation Tips

2004-03-11T20:52:00.000+01:00

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

Happy is the one
Who does not sit in the seat of the scornful
But finds delight in the loveliness of things
And lives by that pattern all day and all night.

Norman Fischer

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.

T.S. Elliot

By sitting alone whenever I can
I clear my mind of a thousand thoughts.
To speak of this is beyond words;
Only by sitting in the quiet forest
Can we ever understand.

Lu Yen

A lifetime without love is of no account
Love is the water of life
Drink it down with heart and soul.

Rumi

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Meditation tips

2004-03-07T19:52:00.000+01:00

Accept - then act.
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.
Always work with it, not against it.
Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy.
This will miraculously transform your whole life.

Eckhart Tolle

An untroubled mind, no longer seeking to consider what is right and what is wrong,
a mind beyond judgments, watches and understands.

Unknown

The deepest words of the wise man teach us
the same as the whistle of the wind when it blows
or the sound of the water when it is flowing.

Antonio Machado

If I pay attention to what is happening inside, what wants to open next, it will always intensify.
And as I sense each new capacity, I also discover what is in the way, preventing my opening.

Jack Kornfield

If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve.

Lao Tzu

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Meditation Tips

2004-03-05T12:26:00.000+01:00

As soon as you trust yourself,
you will know how to live.

Goethe

Watching is meditation.
What you watch is not the point: the object is not the point.
The quality of observation, the quality of being aware and alert –
that’s what meditation is.
Whatsoever you do with awareness is meditation.

Osho

Truth is simply this present moment as it is, nothing can be added to it.
If you are totally present in this moment, then you are Truth itself.

Tishan

The gift of Truth conquers all gifts.
The taste of Truth conquers all sweetness.
The Joy of Truth conquers all pleasures.
The loss of desires conquers all sorrows.

The Dhammapada

Today is the absolute day,
the only day in the eternity of time.
Everyday is fresh and new
just as one's life is new everyday.
The past is only reference.
The future is hope.
Today is real.

Ryokan

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The Cure --More Than This

2004-03-03T09:29:00.000+01:00

The Cure --More Than This
Words and music: Robert Smith

For a second of your life
Tell me that it's true
Waiting for a sign
It's all I want of you
Your heart hides a secret
A promise of what is
Of something more than this

Just a second of your time
Any one will do
A taste of any other
Is all I want from you
Offer me the world
And how can I resist
Something more than this?

Make-believe in magic
Make-believe in dreams
Make-believe -- Impossible
Nothing as it seems
See, touch, taste, smell, hear
But never know if it's real (But never know if it's real)

For a second of your life
Tell me if it's true
Anywhere we are
Is all I want of you
On your lips lies a secret
A promise of a kiss
Of something more than this

Just a second of your time
Any one will do
To know from any other
Is all I want from you
You've given me the world
You know I can't resist
Something more than this

Make-believe in magic
Make-believe in dreams
Make-believe -- Impossible
Nothing as it seems
Never really understand
What anything means (What anything means)

Another second of my life
Not knowing if it's true
Make-believe in nothing
Is all I want of you
Whispering the secret
Whispering there is
Always something other
Something more than this

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The Sun Rising - The Beloved

2004-02-29T15:04:00.000+01:00

The Sun Rising Lyrics

movement outside, silence inside
restless lovers spread your wings as the day begins

it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining
it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising

learn to love your secret life, still calm and gentle life
your resolution comes too fast, now the night is past

it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining
it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising

smiling, gliding, breathless you're riding
love is just a state of mind that we leave behind

it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining
it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising

let yourself go

it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining
it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining.

it's just the sun rising
it's just the sun rising
it's shining
it's just the sun rising
sun rising

life, love... (adlib to fade)

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NUMB - Linkin Park

2004-02-27T11:40:00.000+01:00

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow
Just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is
Another mistake to you

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more awake
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow
Just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is
Another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow
Just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste
Is more than I can take

But I know
I may end up falling too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

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Leaving on a Jet Plane

2004-02-24T11:52:00.000+01:00

All my bags are packed. I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn.
The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn,
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.
So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again -
Oh Babe, I hate to go.

There's so many times I've let you down,
So many times I've played around,
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go, I'll think of you,
Ewery song I sing, I'll sing for you,
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.

Now the time has come to leave you,
One more time let me kiss you,
Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come.
When I won't have to leave alone,
About the times I won't have to say ...

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Back on the Block - Quincy Jones

2004-02-17T19:31:00.000+01:00

[ all ]
Back
Back on the block
Back
Back on the block

Back, on the block, so we can rock
With the soul, rhythm, blues, be bop and hip hop

Back on the block
Back on the block

[ VERSE 1: Ice-T ]
Ice-T, let me kick my credentials
A young player, bred in South Central
L.A., home of the bodybag
You wanna die, wear the wrong color rag
I used to walk in stores and yell: "Lay down!"
You flinch an inch - AK spray down
But I was lucky cause I never caught the hard time
I was blessed with the skill to bust a dope rhyme
All my homies died or caught the penzo
Lost their diamonds, cops towed their Benzos
Livin that life that we thought was it
Fast lanin, but the car flipped
I'm not gonna lie to ya, cause I don't lie
I just kick thick game, some people say: why?
Cause I'm back on the block, I got my life back
So I school the fools about the fast track
I get static from the style of my technique
Profanity, the blatant way in which I speak
But the Dude knows the streets ain't no kiddie game
You don't know the Dude? Quincy's his first name
He told me: "Ice, keep doin what you're doin, man
Don't give a damn if the squares don't understand
You let em tell you what to say and what to write
Your whole career'll be over by tomorrow night
Rap from your heart, and your heart's with the street
Rap on my record, man, Kimiko, send Ice the beat"
The Dude is def no doubt, what can I say?
The man can roll with Ice-T or Michael J

[ all ]
Back
Back on the block
Back
Back on the block

Back, on the block, so we can rock
With the soul, rhythm, blues, be bop and hip hop

Back on the block
Back on the block

[ VERSE 2: Melle Mel ]
I'm back, on the block, on the screen
I'm on the wax, I'm on the stage, I'm on the scene
I'm on the case, just like an attorney
The Dude took me on a magic journey
To dance in France, alone in Rome
On the farmlands of Nebraska, the cold of Alaska
The heat of the motherland
To be with my brotherman
On top of a snowcapped mountain I'm scoutin
What another man saw in a race of people
To see him give his life for the price of equal
The highest wisdoms, the richest kingdoms
The Song of Songs we heard David sing them
He showed me me when I was young and hung out
He showed me makin love, even showed me strung out
He showed me poppin nines, standin on a rock
But tears came to my eyes when he showed me my block

[ Tevin Campbell (& Andrae Crouch Singers) ]
Stokie's just Stokie, mama
(Stokie's Stokie)
And one by one each woman he kiss
(He kiss her and she gon' fall in love)
Stokie's just Stokie, you know?
(Stokie's Stokie)
Till someone shows that they care enough
(Ain't nothin gonna bother Stokie much)
Some say they can't take it no more
(Comin here, comin here startin stuff)
But Dude is back on duty fo' sho'
(Back on the block to stay)
They say he ain't gonna be with it
(Comin back, comin back to the street)
But Dude he know you'll never forget it
(Back on the block to stay)

[ VERSE 3: Big Daddy Kane ]
Back up and give the brother room
To let poetry bloom to whom
It may concern or consume
As I reminisce before this
The bliss that exist
But now we brought about a twist
Cause I remember of my people bleedin
Put through slavery and killed for bravery
We shoulda got our freedom much sooner
You never seen a blackman on _The Honeymooners_
But now somehow we've learned to earn, to grow, to show
The elevation of a people built is so
Jesse Jackson, Miss America a black one
No more livin for just a small fraction
I was once told by the Dude that knowledge is a food
To nourish, so to conclude
This from an Asiatic descendant, Big Daddy is shocked
Yo Q, we back on the block

[ all ]
Back
Back on the block
Back
Back on the block

Back, on the block, so we can rock
With the soul, rhythm, blues, be bop and hip hop

Back on the block
Back on the block

[ VERSE 4: Kool Moe Dee ]
An everlasting omnipresence is my present
State of being, seeing the unpleasant
Sight of righteous souls live like peasants
The mind stunts growth in adolescence
My insight enables me to enlight
The weakest of minds, and I put em in flight
As I transcend, a-scend or de-scend
Re-create, re-incarnate and re-send
The powerful spirits of our ancestors
For those that don't know how God blessed us
Because man messed up, the media dressed up
Lies perpetrated as truth, and it left us
Confused, but I've seen it all before
>From Babylon to the Third World War
I'm more than a man, I'm more like an entity
Back on the block, and this time my identity
Is the Dude

Ba-ba-ba-back on the
Ba-back on
Ba-ba-back on the block
Ba-ba-back on
Ba-ba-back on the block

[ Tevin Campbell (& Andrae Crouch Singers) ]
Stoki, ke Stoki, mai-bo
(Stoki, Stoki)
Wam babma, wam bamb'u mandisa
(Wahm bamba wahm bamboo mandisa)
(Stoki ke Stoki, mai-bo)
(Stoki, Stoki)
Wam babma, wam bamb'u mandisa
(Wahm bamba wahm bamboo mandisa)
M'yeke, yeke, yeke, wena
(Kha'mye, kha'myeke wena)
Yo khala, khala, khala, u mama
(Yo khal'u mama khe)
M'yeke, yeke, yeke, wena
(Kha'mye, kha'myeke, wena)
Yo khala, kha, 'yok 'shaya u baba
(Yok shaya u baba khe)

[ Rev. Jesse Jackson ]
(Now I would - I would contend that ah -
The rappers - rap is here to stay)

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Jammin' - Bob Marley

2004-02-16T13:03:00.000+01:00

Jammin'

Ooh, yeah! All right!
We're jammin':
I wanna jam it wid you.
We're jammin', jammin',
And I hope you like jammin', too.

Ain't no rules, ain't no vow, we can do it anyhow:
I'n'I will see you through,
'Cos everyday we pay the price with a little sacrifice,
Jammin' till the jam is through.

We're jammin' -
To think that jammin' was a thing of the past;
We're jammin',
And I hope this jam is gonna last.

No bullet can stop us now, we neither beg nor we won't bow;
Neither can be bought nor sold.
We all defend the right; Jah - Jah children must unite:
Your life is worth much more than gold.

We're jammin' (jammin', jammin', jammin')
And we're jammin' in the name of the Lord;
We're jammin' (jammin', jammin', jammin'),
We're jammin' right straight from Yah.

Yeh! Holy Mount Zion;
Holy Mount Zion:
Jah sitteth in Mount Zion
And rules all creation.

Yeah, we're - we're jammin' (wotcha-wa),
Wotcha-wa-wa-wa, we're jammin' (wotcha-wa),
See, I wanna jam it wid you
We're jammin' (jammin', jammin', jammin')
I'm jammed: I hope you're jammin', too.

Jam's about my pride and truth I cannot hide
To keep you satisfied.
True love that now exist is the love I can't resist,
So jam by my side.

We're Jammin' (jammin', jammin', jammin'), yeah-eah-eah!
I wanna jam it wid you.
We're jammin', we're jammin', we're jammin', we're jammin',
We're jammin', we're jammin', we're jammin', we're jammin';
Hope you like jammin', too.
We're jammin', we're jammin' (jammin'),
We're jammin', we're jammin' (jammin').
I wanna (I wanna jam it wid you) - I wanna -
I wanna jam wid you now.
Jammin', jammin' (hope you like jammin' too).
Eh-eh! I hope you like jammin', I hope you like jammin',
'Cause (I wanna jam it wid you). I wanna ... wid you.
I like - I hope you - I hope you like jammin', too.
I wanna jam it;
I wanna jam it.

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Meditation Tips

2004-02-12T22:11:00.000+01:00

There is no place to go, and so we travel!
You and I, and what for, just to imagine that we could go somewhere else.

Edward Dahlberg

There is no definite good or bad about anything in the world.
After something has happened, it depends on how you look at it - whether as good or bad.

Unknown

Everyone of us is basically uninformed but not stupid. We just learn at different speeds and in different ways.
So Just slow down. Have a cup of tea. Relax. You don't understand everything overnight. It's OK!

Tasogare Shinju

Because of the gift of self-reflective consciousness, the human being alone, of all forms of life, has the capacity to recognize his or her own true identity as being not separate from the whole event of creation.

Andrew Cohen

In the silence of meditation you can sense the part or parts of yourself that you may be trying to push away or disown.
When you surrender and welcome the excluded parts back into the fold, there is a release of energy and your inner strength returns.

Beth Johnson

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Meditation Tips

2004-02-08T21:26:00.000+01:00

True meditation has no direction, goals, or method. All methods aim at achieving a certain state of mind.
All states are limited, impermanent and conditioned.

Adyashanti

Problems are opportunities in disguise.
If you did not face problems you would just drift through life, and you would not gain inner growth.

Peace pilgrim

This is the only meditation I know.
While I eat, I eat.
While I walk, I walk.
And while I feel sleepy, I sleep.
Whatsoever happens, happens.
I never interfere.

Bokuju

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Touch Me

2004-02-04T12:33:00.000+01:00

The Doors

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon now.
Touch me, babe,
Can't you see that I am not afraid,
What was that promise that you made,
Why won't you tell me what she said,
What was that promise that she made.

Now I'm gonna love you till the heaven stops the rain
I'm gonna love you till the stars fall from the sky,
For you and I.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon now.
Touch me, babe,
Can't you see that I am not afraid,
What was that promise that you made,
Why won't you tell me what she said,
What was that promise that she made.

I'm gonna love you till the heaven stops the rain,
I'm gonna love you till the stars fall from the sky,
For you and I.

I'm gonna love you till the heaven stops the rain,
I'm gonna love you till the stars fall from the sky,
For you and I.

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Meditation tips

2004-02-03T11:44:00.000+01:00

I often compare the mind in meditation to a jar of muddy water:
the more we leave the water without interfering or stirring it, the more the particles of dirt will sink to the bottom, letting the natural clarity of the water shine through.

Sogyal Rinpoche

If you don't know where you are going, stay here!
If you are tired, rest!
If you get confused, stop thinking!

Max

One should do what one teaches others to do;
if one would train others, one should be well controlled oneself.
Difficult, indeed, is self-control.

Dhammapada

Today is the absolute day,
the only day in the eternity of time.
Everyday is fresh and new
just as one's life is new everyday.
The past is only reference.
The future is hope.
Today is real.

Unknown

Avoid those pretenders who decide for you; take the reins in your own hands.
You have to decide.
In fact, in that very decisiveness, your soul is born.
When others decide for you, your soul remains asleep and dull.
When you start deciding on your own, a sharpness arises.

Osho

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What a Difference a Day Made

2004-02-01T15:41:00.000+01:00

What a difference a day made
Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain

My yesterday was blue, dear
Today I'm part of you, dear
My lonely nights are through, dear
Since you said you were mine

What a difference a day makes
There's a rainbow before me
Skies above can't be stormy
Since that moment of bliss, that thrilling kiss

It's heaven when you find romance on your menu
What a difference a day made
And the difference is you

Tony Bennett

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Hiking to Understand Who We Are & Our Place in the Universe

2004-01-29T12:50:00.000+01:00

In our hectic, modern lives it is easy to get lost, to lose a sense of who we really are and why we are here. It is easy to get so busy doing so many things that we loose track of why we are doing them. How much of this being busy is a part of our real purpose in life?

Have you ever felt a general sense of dissatisfaction or an inner restlessness? Perhaps it is because you know you have the potential to be more. Perhaps you need a better understanding of the meaning of life to help you focus.

Clearly each of us is an individual with our own unique mix of skills, talents, and abilities. Our modern, mechanized way of life makes it easy to loose track of these. We all too easily become dependent on our material possessions to do almost everything for us including even our thinking and imagination. Each of us can make a difference in the world, but to do so we must first find our purpose in life.

From a spiritual point of view we are more than just our bodies and the electrical activity of our brains. The real essence of who we are lies within. Our bodies and our lives here are merely a means of expression for our true selves that will endure beyond this lifetime.

What gives meaning to our lives is our relationship with our inner selves, our creator, and others. We are each an instrument in the orchestra of life. We honor ourselves when we harmonize with others. To play in harmony we must learn what our part is supposed to be. Playing our part or fulfilling our purpose in life is a balance between looking within and expressing what we discover there through relationship and service to others.

Hiking can help us to tune our instrument. Hiking gives us a break from our ordinary routine and a chance to reconnect with the natural world and ourselves. Hiking can be a time to let your mind soar and contemplate the most difficult problems and abstract ideas. Hiking gives us a chance to leave our mechanized way of life behind for awhile at least and to begin reclaiming our soul's heritage.

While you are hiking and enjoying nature you may from time to time feel a presence that communicates with you through the natural beauty of your surroundings. That presence is your higher self or the deeper, more enduring part of you. Learn to listen to it. It often comes to us as a few moments of wonder while we are observing the magnificence of nature.

With this sense of wonder may also come an increased awareness of purpose not only in your life, but everywhere and in everything. You may discover that there truly is a season for all things. You will begin to feel that you too are a part of the natural flow of all life and all things. From this connectedness with all of nature new joy, delight, and energy will flow into you.

The Hiking Web Site. Copyright © 2000 by Eric Olsen. All Rights Reserved.

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Reflections of the Warrior of the Light in 2004

2004-01-28T09:50:00.000+01:00

Reflections of the Warrior of the Light in 2004

Carlos Castañeda says: "The great power of the human being is his capacity to make decisions." Each decision that we take enables us to change the future and the past.
Choosing means: "I commit myself." When someone makes a choice, they must remember that the path to be followed is going to be very different from the path imagined. Choosing means: "well, I know where I want to get to."
Choosing also means: "I'll have to give up a lot of things." And it is with this commitment that the warrior of the light moves forward.

Choosing in peace

The warrior of the light meditates. He sits down in a quite corner of his tent and delivers himself to the divine light.
On doing so, he tries not to think of anything, detaches himself from the pursuit of pleasures, challenges and revelations, and lets his gifts and powers reveal themselves.
Even though he does not notice it at the time, these gifts and powers are taking control of his life and will affect his daily life.
As he meditates, the warrior is not himself but rather a spark of the Soul of the World. These are the moments that allow him to understand his responsibility and act accordingly. A warrior of the light knows: in the silence of his heart exists a higher order that is to show him the steps of his personal choice.

Choosing with confidence

The warrior of the light always manages to balance Rigor and Mercy. To attain his dream he needs to have a strong will - as well as an immense capacity of self-surrender.
Although he has an objective, the road to reach it is not always the one he imagines, so he has to use discipline and compassion. God never abandons his children - but the designs of Providence are unfathomable.
So, for the warrior of the light nothing is abstract. Everything is concrete and everything concerns him.
He does not sit in the comfort of his tent observing what is going on in the world, but accepts each challenge as an opportunity to transform himself.
Some of his companions spend their lives criticizing the lack of options or commenting on the decisions of others. The warrior, however, turns his thought into action.
Sometimes he makes mistakes, and pays the price of his error. Other times he strays from the path and wastes a lot of time getting back to the original destination.
But a warrior does not become distracted, because he knows what he is looking for.

Choosing with decision

A warrior of the light has the qualities of a rock.
When he finds himself on flat terrain - all around him is in harmony - he remains stable. People can build their houses on top of what he created because the storm will not be destructive.
Nonetheless, when they put him on uneven terrain and nothing around him appears to respect or balance his work, he demonstrates his strength rolling in the direction of the enemy who threatens his choice. Without cruelty, but with decision, the warrior does not allow himself to be paralyzed by his adversaries.
A warrior of the light thinks of the good combat and of peace at one and the same time and knows how to act according to the circumstances.

The future becoming present

From now on - and for some centuries to come - the Universe will help the warriors of the light and boycott the prejudiced.
The energy of the Earth needs renovating.
New ideas need space.
The body and the soul need new challenges.
The future becomes present and all the dreams - except those that involve prejudices - will enjoy the chance to manifest themselves.
Whatever is important will remain; whatever is useless will disappear. For that reason, when lots of people gather to give their opinion on how he should act or behave, the warrior ignores all criticism, understanding that his mission on Earth leaves him no time for explaining everything he does.
He also avoids commenting on the behavior of others: in order to have faith in his own path, he has no need to prove that the path of the other is wrong. Those who act like that have no trust in their own steps.

Fighting injustice

T.H. Huxley says:
"The consequences of our actions are scarecrows for the cowards and beams of light for the wise. The world is a chessboard. The pieces are the gestures of daily life, the rules are the so-called laws of nature."
Although he concentrates on what he is doing, the warrior of the light does not look on injustice with indifference. He knows that everything is one thing alone, that each individual action affects all the men on the planet, and if he sees someone being a victim of cowardly attacks, he uses his sword to put things in order.
But although he fights against oppression, at no moment does he try to judge the oppressor. Each one will answer for his acts before God, and that is why, once his task is accomplished, the warrior makes no further comment. A warrior of the light is in the world to help his brothers, not to condemn his neighbors.

Shunning pessimism

To help to renew the Earth's energy, it is necessary to be aware that pessimism is contagious. Defeatism is contagious. Despair is contagious. Those who have enough sensitivity to see auras (energetic vibrations that surround living beings), perceive that before physical sickness penetrates the body, part of the vital energy is drained by the afflicted and worried brain. All that we put into today will somehow be returned to us in a cycle much like what we see in nature.

Accepting some mistakes

The German philosopher F. Nietzsche once said: "it is no use living arguing about everything; it is part of human nature to make a mistake now and again."
Yet we all know people who absolutely insist that they are right even down to the smallest details. We ourselves are often included in this category: we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. All that we achieve with such an attitude is the fear of moving forward - because certain steps call for new decisions whose results are unknown to us.
The fear of making a mistake is the door that locks us up in the castle of mediocrity: if we manage to overcome this fear, we are taking an important step towards our freedom.

And above all else, courage

To manage to face this new moment and allow room for new ideas and for energy to be renewed, it is necessary to have courage. Courage to face prejudices. Courage to be fair. Courage to understand that everything we do affects the history of the world. Courage to take steps in the direction of the unknown, even knowing that from time to time we are going to make mistakes.
God has done his part by creating us and putting us in the world. Now He looks down on us with love and asks us to do our part.

Copyright @ 2001 by Paulo Coelho.
The Warrior of the Light Online is a monthly publication at the site www.paulocoelho.com.br. It may be freely distributed over the Internet and included on pages where the content is free, provided the source is credited as follows: "Warrior of the Light, a www.paulocoelho.com.br publication."
The author reserves the right to alter these conditions at any time.
Translated from the Portuguese by James Mulholland.

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Quotes

2004-01-27T09:50:00.000+01:00

Take someone who doesn't keep score,
who's not looking to be richer, or afraid of losing,
who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality:
He's free.

Rumi

Are you happy with yourself?
Are you doing what you like?
Gather courage and go for it.
Life belongs to those who dare to live.

Dharma

A really meditative person is playful; life is fun for him, life is a leela, a play.
He enjoys it tremendously.
He is not serious.
He is relaxed.

Osho

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